So true!

Xander's Mom · #1 01-05-2007, 10:55 PM

Whoever said, "LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE" didn't sleep with dogs. The first thing you discover when you bring a dog into your bed is the striking difference in weight between an alert, awake dog and a dog at rest.

Rule #1: The deeper the sleep the heavier the dog.

Most people who sleep with dogs develop spinal deformities rather than rent the heavy equipment necessary to move their snoring canines to a more appropriate part of the bed. Cunning canines steal precious space in tiny increments until they have achieved the center position on the bed, with all covers carefully tucked under them for safekeeping. The stretch and roll method is very effective in gaining territory. Less subtle tactics are sometimes preferred. A jealous dog can worm his way between a sleeping couple and, with the proper spring action from all four legs, shove a sleeping human to the floor.

Rule #2: The deeper the sleep the louder the dog.

As you cling to the edge of the bed, wishing you had covers, your sweet pup begins to snore at a volume you would not have thought possible. Once that quiets down, the dog dreams begin. Yipping, growling, running, kicking. Your bed becomes a battlefield and playground of canine fantasy. It starts out with a bit of "sleep running", lots of eye movement and then, suddenly, a shrieking howl blasted through the night like a banshee wail. The horror of this wake-up call haunts you for years. It's particularly devastating when your pup insists on sleeping curled around your head like a demented Daniel Boone cap.

Rule #3: When the dog wakes, you wake.

The night creeps on and you fall asleep in the 3 inches of bed not claimed by a dog. The dog dreams quiet slightly and the heap of dog flesh sleeps breathing heavily and passing wind. Then, too soon, its dawn and the heap stirs. Each dog has a distinctive and unpleasant method of waking the pack. One may position itself centimeters from a face and stare until you wake. The clever dog obtains excellent results by simply sneezing on your face, or they could romp all over your sleeping bodies, or the ever-loving insertion of a tongue in an unsuspecting ear.

So, why do we put up with this? There's no sane reason. Perhaps it's just that we're a pack and a pack heaps together at night safe, contented, heavy, and loud.

morrissey11 · #2 01-06-2007, 01:39 PM

I love this!! it is so true! Morrissey would be so comfy asleep on our bed and we'd be hanging on at the edge. My dh would say, "Don't disturb him, he's asleep"!!!
Morrissey would wake you up by snorting in your face, if we said, just a minute, he'd snort louder, love him to bits!! and miss him so much.
Thanks for the post.
Morrissey, our angel.
02/1995 - 04/2006 x

crowpete · #3 01-24-2007, 04:48 PM

That is so true!!!! Thank you for sharing

bayleighmom · #4 01-25-2007, 07:45 AM

So true! I woke up around 3am this morning about to fall off the bed and FREEZING! Apparently in the middle of the night, Bayleigh had managed to sneak into our bed, worm her way under the blankets and sprawl out in the middle of the bed with all the blankets wrapped around her. Not wanting to disturb her beauty sleep, I curled into the fetal position to try to warm up. I fell back asleep and woke an hour later to the smell of frito feet and hot panting dog breath. She must have been to hot under the stolen blankets and worked her head and feet out of the blankets and onto my pillow!

joncads · #5 01-25-2007, 09:22 AM

I laughed so hard, I cryed at this! This has been my night times since Lola came into our lives.... and she does all of the above when trying to get me up, if that doesn't work she will continuosly slap me in the face with her paw until I give in and get up!

BoxerRock · #6 01-26-2007, 11:13 AM

Well said. It made me wonder if you might have a hidden camera set up in our bedroom!

mybubbieroo · #7 01-26-2007, 08:39 PM

So well said! Loved it.

Thanks for sharing.

paysmom · #8 01-27-2007, 06:52 AM

This is great! And no matter how we sleep all night- when I wake up in the morning- I gently kiss each of them (all 3!) very lightly so they don't wake up! Am I nuts???

ScamperButt · #9 01-29-2007, 11:21 AM

Thanks for the huge laugh! It's all so true!!! Molly thinks she is queen of the bed. Her favorite thing to do is to put her toosh right in my face (as i'm sleeping). Then, she falls asleep like that, and I am awoken by the fragrant smell of boxer toots! Boxers truly bring joy to life, don't they?