My mum has secondary bone cancer. Sorry long.

[Louise501]

About a week ago my mum was diagnosed with secondary bone cancer. On christmas eve she was struggling around the shops with my sister and I, we knew she had sciatica but she collapsed and was admitted to hospital. The next morning as she was carefully trying to get out of bed to sit in her chair her left leg just broke above the knee (femur) she had an op to pin the bones and to cut a long story short the surgeon could see that there was something very wrong, anyway after further C.T scans, blood tests etc the consultant told mum, my sister and I that she has secondary bone cancer in her lower back, pelvis, hip and upper leg. At this moment in time they have not found the primary.

Before the histology report came back the consultant told us that radiotherapy (for pain relief) would start almost straight away, now the histology report is back, she is saying that mum can't have radiotherapy for 2 weeks to let her bone heal a bit more, she also said that now they know from histology reports that mums cancer is very aggressive anaplastic type, she thought mums situation was 'dire'. We are devastated, mum is in hospital and looks so well, the consultant has said that things could happen quickly. Mum had a full bone scan last friday, now my sister and I are thinking that they won't send her for radiotherapy because it has gone too far and just maintain her pain relief with medication. The hospital that she would go to for radiotherapy is an hour away and she would have to be transported daily, she is already in a lot of pain. I can not beleive what's happened, I am so upset and scared.

[laurelheebsh]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's illness. We had something similar happen in my family recently too, so I really do know how you're feeling. Just make sure to spend as much time as possible with your mum--this really reminds us that we never truly know what lies ahead. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[EAO76]

I am so sorry this is happening to your family. My father has Multiple Myeloma (a blood cancer) so I know how you feel. The good thing is that cancer treatments are getting better & better these days. My dad’s type of cancer has no cure but the treatments have kept it at bay for more than three years. He is living a normal life so far. Also my friend’s father was diagnosed with bone cancer about 5 years ago. When he was diagnosed they told him he would only have a month to live (and its been 5yrs). So don’t give up hope. Seek out the best doctors that you can and get second opinions. I know everyone wants to trust & listen to their doctors but its ok to ask questions, challenge them, & do your own research too.

Your mum is in my prayers.

[thisissilly]

Louise, I'm so sorry to read about your mother's diagnosis. My late husband had cancer, which started in the stomach and metted into the liver and bones. He did have radiation therapy for the bone cancer, which did help for the few weeks he was well enough to have the radiation. He was transported, by ambulance, about 40 miles each day.

Bone cancer is very painful. Please be proactive and involved in your mother's care and pain control. If treatment is not possible, make certain your mother is provided Hospice care if it's available. Hospice has more ability to maintain pain control than standard hospital care.

Many of the pain meds used will affect your mother's ability to think clearly. Take this time to discuss the cancer, dying, and death with your mother if she'll allow. Find out what her wishes and desires are for at some point you and your sister will need to be her medical advocates.

As was said, spend as much time with your mom as possible. Encourage her talk about her condition, her past, her fears, her joys, anything she wishes. My thoughts and best wishes are with all of you.

[Louise501]

It is hard for my sister and I accept the diagnosis as she looks so well right now. We are spending as much time as we can at the hosp. Mum does not know the extent of her illness, we have decided not to tell her as she does not cope very well and the worry will make her worse, she has a wonderful macmillan nurse that I know will be a great support to us all.

[joeys mom]

I am so sorry to hear about your mums diagnosis. My gradfather lived with colon and lung cancer for 10 years. I was very close with him, and thought of him as a father not just grandfather and so I know what its like to have a loved one suffer from this horrible disease. Many thoughts and prayers are with you. keep us posted on how you and your mum are doing.

[DiverDiva]

Louise,
I am so sorry to hear of your Mum's illness. She is in our thoughts and prayers. Sending healing vibes for her and strength vibes for you and all your family at what must be a terribly difficult time.

Originally Posted by EAO76

...Seek out the best doctors that you can and get second opinions. I know everyone wants to trust & listen to their doctors but its ok to ask questions, challenge them, & do your own research too...

I agree with this suggestion. Don't be afraid to speak up and challenge the medical community. You are your Mum's best advocate.

[Austin's Mom]

I'm also so sorry to hear about your Mum. Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Gruntsmom]

Louise, I keep your mum, you and your sister, your whole family in my prayers. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. I can't add anything to the excellent input that has already been posted. Sending you big hugs. Hang in there, we are rooting for all of you.

[x19er]

Lousie I'm so very sorry to hear this news, my heart goes out to you and your family at this difficult time.