Lost my Friend

Kay1 · #1 29th August 2001, 05:09 PM

Rocco, my 4 yr old male passed on Thursday afternoon. I'm still in shock because it happened so quickly. I have never felt such sorrow before. My heart aches and I'm always just on the verge of bursting into tears. I miss him so very much. He was my first baby and I think that is why this has been so difficult. My husband wants to get another puppy right away. He thinks that the distraction will help me get over my loss. He knows that I will love this new little one too! My question is.....is it too soon? Am I betraying Rocco's memory by trying to replace him so soon?

-Rocco-male 4yrs old, fawn/flashy -Aug 18/97-Aug 23/01

Krikkit · #2 29th August 2001, 05:46 PM

Kay, my thoughts are with you and I'm so very sorry about Rocco

If you do get another puppy I think Rocco would be happy and at the Rainbow Bridge watching over you and the new little one. Everyone deals with grief differently, I like to have a companion straight away, but some people like to wait - it just depends on what you can cope with. Four years is such a young age to loose a beloved Boxer

Please look after yourself and if you want to talk we are all here for you.

take care
Sharon and family

Boo · #3 29th August 2001, 06:19 PM

Kay, I am so sorry about Rocco. The intense grief is normal and I feel that it only honours your pet. He WAS worth you feeling this crappy.

As Sharon said, it IS personal choice. I lost my 13 yo cocker spaniel in February and we got Jasper 2 weeks later. For me, I couldn't bear to not have a dog. I wasn't sleeping, I had no appetite and I couldn't bear to look in the backyard.

Getting Jasper took away the rawness of that grief. Nothing can put a smile on your face like a puppy can. I still cried (and sometimes like now, I still do) for a while but my tears were soft and healing. Puppies are work too, so the distraction of house-training will take your mind from your grief.

If you feel that you want another puppy straight away, then don't feel guilty. You aren't replacing Rocco. He loved you and is watching over you from rainbow bridge wanting you to be happy again.

What ever you choose to do, take care of yourself.

Adele

Wendy Swalls · #4 30th August 2001, 12:51 PM

We lost our Buddy at 5 years old, and it too was quite a shock. We didn't know he was even sick until it was too late. I had to leave work, my husband and I just couldn't believe that he was gone. My family told us to go get another pup as soon as we could, and we hesitated, but found Ethan and couldn't say no. Once you've had a boxer, it's hard to live without one. You'll know when the time is right for you, don't let anyone tell you when that time is.

I share you grief and wish that I could be there to put my arms around you.

Spotty's people · #5 30th August 2001, 04:43 PM

Sooo sorry!

My husband wants us to get another dog BEFORE anything can happen to Spotty. He knows that I couldn't cope without a pet around....

It all depends upon what is best for you as an individual.

Best to you,
S.

ElizabethH · #6 30th August 2001, 04:49 PM

Oh, please know my tears are flowing for you as my baby is just about to turn 4 and cannot imagine what you must be going through. I love him soo much that I literally hold my breath when I enter our house and do not see him wiggling hello at the door and cannot let in go until I hear him barrel down the stairs.

So, you will be in my prayers and thoughts. Let your self heal best you can... maybe make a photo book, place a special picture with a candle lit near it. Do not rush it, the pain is still so new but you will know what is right in your heart.
((((hugs)))))

lorib257 · #7 31st August 2001, 07:40 PM

I just put my little Westie, Lucy, down a few weeks ago. She had bladder cancer and it had just progressed too far and I knew it was time. Knowing it was best for her did not make it any easier. I cried all day after I got home and for the next week I was miserable without her. I missed her so much and was heartbroken. Two weeks later, I started to think about getting a new puppy and happened to mention it to my grown children who are still living at home and they went on a "hunt" for a boxer puppy while I was out. When I got home, they called me and told me they had put a deposit on a male boxer pup. I was yelling No, I don't want another dog and driving to go see him at the same time - just to give you a picture of how torn I was. Well, I ended up buying the boxer and for the following three days I was very depressed and was crying even more than I had been over my little Lucy's passing. I felt it was too soon and I also felt that I wasn't ready to open my heart up yet to a new puppy. It took me a week to get used to having a new dog and to realize that the new dog would never take the place of the old one, that I would have a different relationship with this dog and that it was ok to give my love to the new pup. I also read a beautiful poem that I found somewhere on this site. It was as if I was meant to read it. It was about a dog speaking to its owner and how it should be treated and it ended with saying that when I am gone, don't feel guilty about giving my bed to a new dog because I know you will give that dog the same love that you gave me. I cried my heart out when I read the poem but I realized that it was ok with Lucy that I should give my love to the new pup - that I had a lot of love to give and another puppy would be lucky to receive that love.
I know I am rambling on and on but I hope that this may help others who are grieving the loss of their dog and contemplating getting a new dog. Life and love does goes on and nothing will ever take away the wonderful memories that you have of your lost pet. And you can make wonderful new memories with a new one.

Spotty's people · #8 31st August 2001, 09:54 PM

ramble away, lorib.....
it is good for you.
s.

lildoormouse_1 · #9 3rd September 2001, 08:59 AM

Sorry to hear about your loss, It's a very hard thing to deal with when you loose a companion and not just that but your bestfriend, I lost my girl after 13 wonderful years, It was very hard for me to deal with, I couldn't bear the thought of living without a boxer, And don't think that you are replacing Rocco, But just carrying on the memoires...Pretty helped me deal with the loss of scarlet and not to forget the good times we shared.....

Our hearts are with you

Abbi