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  #1  
Old 16th July 2004, 11:02 AM
Linda/NJ's Avatar
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Question Invited to a Bridal shower of someone I hardly know

What is everyone's thoughts on going or not going to a shower of someone you hardly know? I just got an invitation to a bridal shower for my husband's coworker's soon to be wife. I just met her last Sunday, we attended their child's baptism. I was not invited to the baby shower last year. Am I obligated to attend this shower? Personally I don't care to go. It is an hour drive from my house and the only way I am going if hubby drives since I am not familiar with the area at all. See what hubby thinks. If I don't go, just send a gift to her later. I hate when things like this comes up for people you hardly know. I know for a fact we are invited to the wedding as well. What would you do?

Linda & Ginger
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  #2  
Old 16th July 2004, 11:13 AM
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I personally would let them know nicely that we are "unable to attend" due to other (previous) plans.

It is up to you as to whether you get them a gift or not. I mean, you do hardly know her?

I perdonally would get them a wedding gift off of their registry and not go to the shower...

good luck!
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  #3  
Old 16th July 2004, 11:31 AM
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I am in agreement with Courtney323, I would send my appologies that I couldn't attend due to another commitment, you are not obliged to go.
Just take a gift to the wedding or go through the registry, that should be O.K.
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  #4  
Old 16th July 2004, 11:36 AM
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I wouldn't go. I know that for some people it's customary to invite all women who will be invited to the wedding to the shower, but I'm not a fan of that theory. No matter what kind of spin people try to put on it, a shower is all about gifts - that's not necessarily a horrible thing because it is fun to give fgifts to good friends and family, but I really believe it should be limited to close friends and family - otherwise it's just greedy. Plus it's just plain awkward when you don't know the guest of honor well.

I personally don't think that you are ever obligated to attend anything - you were invited and it's your choice to accept or decline. And I'm also not one to believe that you have to send a gift everytime you are invited to a shower - that just goes back to a greed thing. I know people who will invite tons of guests to showers not really expecting them to come but thinking they'll get a gift out of it.
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  #5  
Old 16th July 2004, 01:31 PM
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I would probably say I had previous plans and bring the gift to the wedding. If you feel you should send a shower gift, I'd keep it inexpensive and send something small. Good luck!
Marcia

 
  #6  
Old 16th July 2004, 01:34 PM
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I would decline, but send a card maybe with a small amount gift card from where they are registered. I hate going to those kind of parties, when you don't know anyone else that will be there. I am not a social kind of person when I don't know other people around me. Good Luck- Rachel

 
  #7  
Old 16th July 2004, 02:09 PM
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Ok, i wanna chime in with my opinion too. First I agree with everyone that if you dont want to go, politely decline. But i would recommend going to the wedding since the groom is a co-worker of your husband. Also, i would send a small gift for the shower, perhaps a small basket of bath salts/soaps/candles and such. She may have been told to invite you by her groom who is a co-worker of your hubby, so you arent aware of the dynamics. Also, i would have hubby hand deliver you present and invite decline to his co-worker. JMHO.

Carolyn and Katie

 
  #8  
Old 16th July 2004, 03:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by firedog
I would decline, but send a card maybe with a small amount gift card from where they are registered. I hate going to those kind of parties, when you don't know anyone else that will be there. I am not a social kind of person when I don't know other people around me. Good Luck- Rachel
ditto for me!! and go with the excuse of a prior engagement. do go to the wedding WITH your DH. Best wishes.
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  #9  
Old 16th July 2004, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyluck_t
She may have been told to invite you by her groom who is a co-worker of your hubby, so you arent aware of the dynamics. Also, i would have hubby hand deliver you present and invite decline to his co-worker. JMHO.

Carolyn and Katie
I agree with what Carolyn said Get the Hub to do it!

Christa

 
  #10  
Old 20th July 2004, 10:25 AM
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Thanks for the advice everyone. I have decided not to go. I will call to say I have another committment that day.

Linda & Ginger