Anyone with ADHD / ADD kids?

Roxanna · #1 08-23-2002, 08:46 PM

Lately, almost everyone I run into has a child with it. I've always known it was common but did not know to what extent. I have ADHD and my daughter Lorena has it too. As far as I can tell my father has it. He has never been diagnosed but has all the classic symptoms.

I feel sorry for Lorena. Every year her teacher complains about her. This results in a series of meetings between school staff, child pyschologist, school nurse, and ofcourse the parents. By the time everthing is settled and the new modifications are agreed upon it is the end of the school year. Then we begin a new year and the same cycle starts all over again. It is frustrating and exhausting. She begins school this Wednesday and I am not looking forward to it at all.

Madison's Mom · #2 08-25-2002, 07:46 AM

Hi Roxanna:

My daughter has ADHD. Life is not easy but we have made great strides in dealing with her problems.

ADHD can cause many problems however, teacher, not all, will blame everything on the ADHD. Not true by any means. We spend time in homework, attitude just to make sure that Chels is on the right track.

When school starts, be right on top of the teacher, don't let her get the upper hand and start blaming..... A good teacher will be there for your daughter in everyway possible.

My thoughts are with you.

Dempsey J's mom · #3 08-25-2002, 09:42 AM

I don't have children of my own yet, but I am a teacher who tries with ever fiber in her body to do the best job she can with every kid she encounters. I am fortunate to work in a school where the administrators, therapists, and resource teachers are knowledgable and available to parents and "regular" classroom teachers. Teachers who don't specialize in exceptional children don't receive much training in how best to help them. We rely on the other staff and parents to let us know what we should do, and sometimes (actually, often) there is some communications breakdown--or worse, you get a teacher who doesn't have the time, energy, or interest in learning about different kinds of kids' needs. I sure know that it can be easy to get frustrated with a child who displays ADD or ADHD behaviors, but I understand in my heart that they are first and foremost children, and it's my job to help them.

It's a tough situation, and one that requires effort on the part of all involved to ensure the best success of the child. Best wishes to you and your kids this school year, and here's hoping that your families and schools can develop a program that will work for all of you.

Barb_IA · #4 08-25-2002, 10:05 AM

I don't envy teachers today. I watched a child this summer with ADD. I know this poor child can't help it and I don't see what her medication was doing to help it. I'm sure it was helping some.
Wooo Hooo I'm glad school has started! I was about at my wits end. I know that next summer I will have plenty of things planned to keep her busy.

Just imagine a teacher who may have 2,3 or more in her class with the same problems. She would have to be one very patient person!

IluvHarley · #5 08-25-2002, 11:00 AM

We have a 31-year old son who suffers from ADHD. When he was a baby he slept only two hours out of every 24 and cried the rest of the time, he threw up constantly, and was seeing a psychiatrist at the age of 2! The psychiatrist called him "Hitler in a highchair". At that time ADHD had not been diagnosed so the blame was put on me since hubby was at work 14 hours a day. I was a bad mom who just didn't know how to raise a child. When our son hit the school system everything went from bad to worse. The teachers and other students picked on him and he bullied back. The school board even threw their hands up in desperation when our son was in 5th grade. We tried putting him into all sorts of activities where he constantly caused problems and was, eventually, kicked out. We tried counselling, tests, after-school treatment programs, etc., etc. ad nauseum. Nothing worked and our life was miserable. At this point we had 2 more boys; one with a severe learning disability and the other with epilepsy. Once our ADHD son entered high school he was in the principal's office more than he was in the classroom. He finally dropped out and went on the road with a band. He stayed with them for 7 years and now has a job teaching guitar lessons. He's still a difficult person at times but, for the most part, is a wonderful man and is happily married.

I empathize with anyone else who is going through this whirlwind, merry-go-round existence and sincerely hope you will seek help for both your child and yourselves. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God bless!

Brenda

Madison's Mom · #6 08-25-2002, 12:17 PM

Dempsey J's mom

i just love to hear from teacher's

Yes having an ADHD child is a challenge but you are so right when you said they are children first.

I have found that Chels does so much better in everything if the teacher and I stay on track together. Chelsea's IQ is very high and her talents many but finding them some times is difficult.

We work continually on the attitude and what is expected of her and I think it is really paying off. Also having her medication right is a big help.

I wouldn't be a teacher if my life depended on it and I think most teacher deserve much more than they are getting.

Yeah for the great teachers out there

Roxanna · #7 08-25-2002, 11:38 PM

Thank you to all for the responses.

I knew I was not alone. There are so many parents who are experiencing similar problems with their ADHD kids. Most don't blame the teachers. We know it is difficult. Especially since classroom sizes here in California are large. It is just frustrating that you finally resolve issues and the school year ends and soon you have to start all over again. Also, as is the case with most ADHD children there is another Learning Disability present in addition to ADHD. In Lorena's case it is dyslexia. So you can imagine how difficult a time she has in school. I have been advocating for her since 1st grade and I swear it has become a full time job. My husband and I took parenting classes designed for the parents of ADHD children, we have read numerous books, spent countless hours researching the Internet, and joined a support group for parents of ADHD kids. This year she will have six teachers and six different classrooms so I am feeling some anxiety. I sense that she is too.

On a good note, I think she has finally mastered the art of matching clothes.

Thank you Madison's Mom, Brenda, and Dempsey J's Mom.

ROXANNA

doyle9732 · #8 08-26-2002, 05:45 AM

my 9 year old son was diagnosed last year....although, I knew that he was 'different' years before.....he's the youngest of 3 - and the two older ones rarely acting like him.

I was dead against using meds, but after trying all the alternatives, I finally gave the meds a try. And it made a huge difference. He's on the lowest of doses (10 mg), but it does seem to give him that extra 2 seconds he needs to decide how he's going to react in a given situation (where as before meds he'd just REACT!!!) I'm not saying he's 100% - not even close! But he's alot better, and I'm comfortable giving him the lowest dose.

I resolved my 'issues' of using meds by realizing that it was a chemical imbalance, and by not giving them, I was putting my son in an unfair situation......throwing him in a roomful of other kids (school etc) and expecting him to just deal with it......

it's still pretty new to us.....on meds since march break 2002.

Mommyof3kck · #9 08-26-2002, 05:57 AM

Camden was diagnosed last year with ADHD.. He is 8 yrs old now. He displays some but not all of the signs. He is inattentive, can't stay on task, they say he bullies (which he swears he doesn't). So I gave in last year and had him put on meds.. Ok that was a TOTAL nightmare.. It helped "some" at school.. He improved in his grades for awhile.. Then began to slip again.. But at home he was a total HELLION.. OMG you would not believe the stuff I had to put up with. So I was advised that he might be having a reaction to the meds. Back to the doctor we go. They change his meds.. Ok.. so now we have the racing heart and the very serious cries from him that his "heart hurt".. And then get a note home that Camden is acting up again. So I totally take him off the meds and don't say anything to them about it. Guess what? He IMPROVES in school.. They congratulate me on finally finding the right meds..

So here we are again the beginning of the year and I sit down and explain what has happened to his new teacher.. Last year the poor boy change classes 6 times.. in the 2nd grade!! This year he only changes 1 which is a huge relief to him. Anyhoo, she tells me that his figiting doesn't bother he and she can deal with it and knows of ways to work around his mind wanderings.. So i'm thinking YEAH!!!! I get a note home friday that Camden has hit someone on the play ground, is not staying focused and is off task.. grrrr.. I"m thinking home schooling is sounding REALLY good for him..

Dempsey J's mom · #10 08-26-2002, 06:30 PM

Roxanna, I know what you mean about "starting over" every school year. I wish there was a better system. I always have such mixed feelings when I see a child with special needs go on to the next year--on the one hand I'm thrilled about the promotion and the successes and progress s/he has made, but on the other hand I wish I could continue to provide a stable, familiar environment.

Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories--know that they are helping at least one teacher better understand ADD/ADHD. Like I said, I'm not yet a parent, but I am planning to be. I admire all of you for the dedication you have to your children and your selfless efforts to help them.