Am I crazy?

thepuppins · #1 29th March 2011, 09:18 AM

I just got a 7 month old rescue boxer, she is very mellow for a boxer. Seems to have some fear and confidence issues. I am realizing this and I think that she is going to have some serious training and socialization needs and I feel like I could provide her with it but....I'm 7 months pregnant. Is it fair to either one of them to have both of them? I don't know what to do. I got this dog Saturday, really want to keep her but am I fooling myself if I think this will work? Honestly.

Also, no man in the picture.

srennie · #2 29th March 2011, 09:56 AM

Well...do you live alone? Will you be working full time outside of the home? Puppies and babies are very demanding. You WILL be sleep deprived!! If you live with family who will be able to help with pup and baby then I'd say it's doable. If you are living alone, I'd say you will be beyond overwhelmed and it might be best to look into re-homing the pup.

thepuppins · #3 29th March 2011, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by srennie

Well...do you live alone? Will you be working full time outside of the home? Puppies and babies are very demanding. You WILL be sleep deprived!! If you live with family who will be able to help with pup and baby then I'd say it's doable. If you are living alone, I'd say you will be beyond overwhelmed and it might be best to look into re-homing the pup.

Before I go any further, I wanted to say I am on a 2 week trial with the rescue organization before I officially adopt her, so I can give her back. It would break my heart but it is possible. I wouldn't have even tried this if there wasn't that option because I knew I might not be ready for a dog but I didn't think I would face this delima.

I do live with my best friend. She works from home but its just that, works and shes a stress case anyway if she can't get her work done but that would be the dog with her during the day. No big deal, no baby included. I mean I believe I will have her help some but she will not always be there and I feel like both of them are my responsibility.

srennie · #4 29th March 2011, 05:01 PM

Also keep in mind that for the first 2-4 weeks after bringing a dog home they are in sort of a 'honeymoon' period. They tend to be a little reserved at first. As they settle in (at least 2 weeks) you will see what you are really going to be dealing with. Just because she is mellow now, doesn't mean she'll stay that way and she is an adolesent boxer so chances are she'll be a big handful just as you give birth to the baby. My worry would be that your roommate will be very irritated with her as young boxers can be VERY needy and demanding. I'm sorry but it really sounds like the best thing to do is to return her. I had a boxer pup and a baby at the same time and it's REALLY hard! My husband took on most of the walking, feeding and playing with the pup and I was still overwhelmed.

thepuppins · #5 30th March 2011, 08:13 AM

In the end, I will do what I feel is best for her. Not for me. It just might take the rest of the two weeks to figure this out.

LILYLARUE · #6 30th March 2011, 10:25 AM

IMO, the best thing to do at this time is return the pup so another foster can put in the damanding work this pup may seem to need. It is not that you are incapable, it's just a time where you can't give 100% to both pup and baby. No reflection on you and I'm sure the rescue will support your decision. To think of the putting the puppy's well being first and foremost is a huge reflection on your willingness to look beyond yourself. So, to admit it is in no way failing this dog.

Why I suggest the return is that rescue dogs need lots of care and attention. Especially with a history of being given up. Boxers become very attached to their owners, so to lose that one person they only knew and trusted can definitely cause them trauma.

I'm sure you will do what's best. You are a smart cookie for even recognizing that this venture may be to demanding of you at this time. This doesn't negate your fostering in the future when you may have better support, an older child, and more free time on your hands.

Thanks for wanting to foster ~ great plan, just wrong time.

thepuppins · #7 30th March 2011, 12:39 PM

She is already becoming attached to me. I know that she is. Which I do not mind. Honestly, I don't think she has been through much. Her personality has her a little less outgoing than I would like but basically her mother was the abused one...the foster mom SAYS her mom got pregnant because they thought she was fixed (how they happened to get so lucky as for her to accidentally be bred with another boxer is what I wonder) so the puppy (shes 7 months) has lived with just the foster mom her whole life. I don't feel like her behavior is too atypical of a puppy that took this long to leave the nest so to speak and it seems to me like she just didn't get the attention she needed because from what I understand there are too many dogs in that house. She is housebroken but that is the extent of it. She has never received any training and I feel like giving her back might just be worse for her honestly because of the environment at the foster moms house. May be okay for the true rescues but she is a puppy who is more than ready to flourish away from the home she was born in and be guided into her adulthood correctly and I don't see that happening there and I don't know how long it would take her to get adopted out. This is the other hald of my delima.
Part of me thinks that if I approach this as though I have two kids who need equal attention (by the way I raised my oldest daughter until she was 4 so I know what I am getting myself into with that) it will be a lot of work and yes sleep depervation but I can do it. I just need to be committed, persistant and patient.

meoklmrk · #8 1st April 2011, 12:02 PM

Its a tough choice for sure, I have looked after many different breeds of dogs of all ages and the boxer pup is defiantly one of the most demanding, they are one of the most people oriented breeds in my personal opinion, so they look to their owners for everything and can't really with being ignored which is why, I believe, it is such a good training method with them.

My pup has just passed 6 months, he is a brilliant dog, but he requires a lot of attention. With school and other obligations at times I have felt at the end of my tether, because it is a lot to handle. Now if I had a baby in the mix then I genuinely don't feel I could handle the two. But of course thats just me, and you could be in a entirely different place and more than capable of handling. But you really need to give it a serious amount of thought. You need to look after yourself so you can take care of your baby and maybe the puppy, if you burn yourself out trying to look after both then that is not a good situation for any of you.

Anyways I hope that helped some, and good with making your choice and everything else.

smudges mama · #9 1st April 2011, 06:38 PM

It sounds like you really care for this dog and will find it very hard to give her back but I would urge you to think this through very carefully. Your last update concerned me a bit. It sounds to me like you are trying to talk yourself into this even though on some level you know that it is more than you (or anyone!) can handle.

I really don't think it is reasonable to expect yourself to recover from childbirth and care for a newborn (who might turn out to be more demanding than you remember or than your first child was) and raise a puppy at the same time. I have a 6 month old boxer pup and a 4 year old child and it is WAY more challenging than I expected. I don't think I could have done it if my daughter were any younger.

I realize you have concerns about the future of this pup but she will be fine and there will be someone else to care for her. Your newborn on the other hand, only has you and needs to take priority over the puppy.
wishing you all the best....

thepuppins · #10 4th April 2011, 03:59 PM

I called the lady over the weekend prepared to turn her over and was suprised by what I heard. She said her 3 year old had been mauled by a beagle a few days prior and was petrified of all dogs now, that she had to get rid of all her dogs both foster and personal and that there was no way she could take her back. She also told me not to worry about the adoption fee and that if I can't keep her, as much as she hated to say it to take her to the pound if I had to which I would never do (a boxer rescue, if anything).

I do appreciate all of the advise but given the circumstances I am going to do my best to keep her and make it work. It was one thing when I could take her back to where she came from but now that she'd be shuffled around like that I think that I owe it to her to try my best to give her a furever home. She didn't ask for or deserve any of this. Plus, how often does someone get a full blooded boxer for no charge? hehe

LILYLARUE · #11 8th April 2011, 07:56 AM

Such a sad story. This does raise a few questions now though. Is she the only person within the rescue org? Does she own, foster and rescue just by herself or are there others within the rescue? Is this an actual rescue 501c3? There are many questionable rescues popping up in this economy, makes me wonder what her intentions were from the beginning.

Kinda sounds a little fishy to me given the beginning of the story and now how it's ending. Have you double checked and made sure this pup doesn't have a chip? Did this pup come from a person who only rescues strays and became overwelmed with the amount of dogs she acquired?

Don't mean to dig, but this "rescue" really sounds quite fishy.

srennie · #12 8th April 2011, 05:36 PM

I'm thinking the same as Lilylarue!! If the woman you got her from is a 'foster mom' to the puppy then what is the rescue she fosters for? Or is this just a lady who picks up dogs and calls her self a 'foster' and 'rescue'? Was your pup already spayed when you got her? And what did she do with with all of her other foster and personal dogs? Did she bring them to the pound? If she returned them to the rescue then why couldn't she return this one as well? I'm seriously doubting that she is a legitimate foster since you said she had 'too many dogs'. A qualified rescue would never put 'too many' foster dogs in one home. The whole point of fosters is for them to be nurtured and made MORE adoptable. You stated that you thought she didn't get much attention...again leading me to believe this is not a good situation for any of those dogs and not a real rescue. I'm sorry you got mixed up in all of this, especially being so close to giving birth. I hope you can find someone to help you work through all of her issues. You might want to call a 'real' boxer rescue and ask them for some guidance.