I might have to give Shankly up. Please Advise

[TayandRee]

So glad to hear it all worked out. I hope you all are very happy, and I wish your wife all the luck in the world. I know how awful stress can be with a new baby, they sent my husband away 4 days after I gave birth to my last one, so I was home for months alone with a 15 month old and a newborn. I thought I was gonna lose it. That what am I going to do next feeling is awful. I am glad your folks are gonna help. Good luck

[Mom3]

That's great news, Mike. It sounds like you have a terrific support group in both of your families and things will work out fine. Like others have said, it is stressful when you have a newborn and time seems to pass very slowly ~ but before you know it, that sweet little baby will be walking around and giving Shankly lots of love and attention.

Thanks for coming back to BW and updating us! Again, so glad everything is working out!

[oddlou]

Mike,

I'm glad to hear Shankly will be staying w/her growing family.

[hugomom1]

That's for keeping us posted on your solution. I can't blame you for getting offended at some of the responses you got. I don't have any kids, but I know that it's an emotional rollercoaster when they first arrive. So I don't think you needed to justify your concerns about Shankley to anyone. I could tell that you cared about your doggie. I'm glad it worked out for you!

[Amy Lyn]

Mike,

I'm very glad to hear that you can work something out with Shankly. You won't regret it, I promise. That being said . . .

I want to tell you as well, I UNDERSTAND how your wife felt. I too have a new baby, well, 6 months old now. When I first got home and when my husband had to go back to work, which involved incredibly LONG hours, I was in hormonal despair!

I was getting used to having a new baby in our lives, family and friends dropping in and staying FOREVER, it was cold and wintery outside, all of the patience I had in my body was for my baby. I was sleep deprived, missing my husband and I also decided to do part-time typing at home to bring in money. So to sum it up, there was the stress of a new baby, stress of trying to make a two income family into a one income family so I could stay at home, a husband working incredibly long hours for a horrible boss and cabin fever from a winter wonderland!

Wagner took the backseat. He had too. There were many a days in which I was holding a screaming baby, I was sleep deprived and stressed and when Wagner would ring his bell to go out, I thought I would crack up and go nuts. I just couldn't take one more thing on my plate.

And, yes, I could not take him for walks. It was too blustery cold out and the one time I tried to bundle the baby up to take a walk with the two of them, the baby ended up with a cold that lasted for a week. Asking a neighborhood kid to walk my dog for money is not an option in my book. My dog is an okay walker on a leash, but he has a tendancy to be frightened easily (by a plastic bag or some other nonsense) and will fly off in another direction. I personally don't think children should walk a dog without adult supervision. There are too many things that could happen and I would never want a child to live with the guilt of something happening to someone's dog in their care and I wouldn't want the guilt if something happened to someone's kid while he/she was walking my dog. We also couldn't afford to hire a dogwalker. We were on a budget that just barely allowed me to stay at home with my son. Yes, some may say, what's five dollars here and there - it's a lot when you don't have that extra five here and there. We also did not have a fence, which it certainly was not an option to get one. Our last estimate on a fence was almost five grand. That certainly didn't fit into the budget. As far as friends and family walking him, everyone worked and when they didn't, all of my in-laws thought that my dog should be given away or put down - they have always hated him. Of course, none of them would have ever walked him.

So overall, for awhile there, Wagner didn't get much attention, he took the backseat. Sometimes the best attention he would get was when the three of us, me, baby and Wagner would go take a nap in the afternoon on the bed. We would all snuggle together. And you know what - it is OKAY. I knew there would come a time when things would settle, my household would come together a bit more and summer would finally come. I always told him every day that I loved him and I was sorry. When I had a spare minute, which was rare, I would sit with him and just hug the heck out of him. It was more for me than it was for him. I felt guily, but I felt that there was nothing I could do just yet. I needed to work out this new life one step at a time.

Now, at six months, things are much, much better. We go for walks when we can, when I have the energy left and I let Wagner do some free running in a field nearby. He loves it, he loves the baby to pieces and the baby loves him right back. I know that someday very shortly down the road, Wagner will get more exercise than he ever wanted because he and my baby will be the bestest of friends and will be at each other's sides all the time.

Tell your wife that it is okay. She is probably feeling overwhelmed and if she's anything like me, when you try and be a superhero and do absolutely everything in the world, cleaning, cooking, caring and whatnot, sometimes you just have to take a time out. You have to remind yourself that you can't do everything. It is okay if the dishes don't get done or the laundry piles up. Tell her that it might be a welcomed break to play a game with the dog in the house while the baby is being quiet.

I'm telling you, sometimes I must look like a three ring circus. There are times that I am feeding the baby with one hand, finishing up some typing with my other free hand and in between the dog will bring me a toy to play fetch with and I'll play with him too.

Things will fall into place, I promise. You just have to get over this hill right now and you won't regret it. I'm so so very very glad that Shankly is staying with you. I don't doubt that you love your dog very much, it's just a stressful time right now and those always pass, but the love of your dog will always be there. Not to mention, it feels absolutely wonderful those moments that you have when you all can be together. My absolute favorite is that my husband and I go to the drive-in movies and we pack the baby in the back, put Wagner back there too and we can all be together doing something fun too. I get absolutely elated when we make plans to go to the drive-in movies, and I don't even care what movie we are seeing, it just makes me beyond happy to have my little family, doggy included all together.

Good luck to you, and if you or your wife need a shoulder to lean on, someone who has been there, e-mail me.

[SouthernArt]

Originally posted by Mikejo
For those of you that really care here is a update on the situation. We have spent the last few days producing a rota for both my parents and my wife parents which will enable them to come round and help Joanne out with Shanks when I'm not here. We are totally thrilled with the help we have gotton from our family and equally as thrilled that SHANKLY IS GOING NOWHERE. We both feel that a massive weight has been lifted from us because we were both so down about negleting the dog that we both love so very much.

I can't imagine the stresses of a new baby because I do not have children, but I'm sure it's very hard. I am so very glad that you guys are going to be able to keep Shankly. That's great! I know that a weight has been lifted from you, as you said, and I know Shankly will be forever grateful to her family for the lifetime of love she gets from you, your wife, and your new baby.

[Loke]

So glad to hear the update! I've been following this post for that very reason. Amy Lyn said it perfectly. I've also been there, done that, twice!! The first one I had one dog and when our second one came I had 2! My husband is also military so he could be gone for weeks at a time and it was stressful but we made it and I'm glad we didn't have to face giving up a dog, even if it wouldn't have happened. Hope all goes well. Give it a few months and you'll all be happy!

Congrats on the new baby!!

[scribe1128]

I've been watching thise threat closely, but decided to stay out of the fray. I was thrilled to see MIKEJO's update that Shanks is going nowhere! Congrats, Mike, that things worked out and congrats on the new baby. Pretty soon, when the dust settles, everything will be peaceful again. Titus and Lady send boxer hugs to Shankley!

[McGehee1]

I want to first congratulate you on finding a great solution to your problem. It sounds like, not only will Shankley get to stay, but she's gonna have it better than she EVER did with all the grandparents around and lots of attention. We (BW members)knew you could do it, which is why we pushed so hard. We've all been there with babies, puppies, kids, jobs, and other challenges in one way, shape or form. I have to say, I was feeling very
sympathetic to your situation until I read your second post. That's what set me off and when I got fired up about the situation. I did not feel you were being fair to those that took the time to offer the information/advice that YOU came to the board asking for.

I've also since taken the time to review your previous posts on the board, for example a few titles I found:

2/1/02 Update on Shankley where you state "From tomorrow she will have been in the vets for a week I miss her so much and I feel so sorry for her. I just hope that she gets better soon and she can come home." (THIS WAS JUST 3 MONTHS AGO!)

3/12/01 My dog wears socks

4/24/01 Funny Story from Last Night

5/11/01 Do you ever talk to your dog like a human?

6/26/01 Boxers and pregnant women

I sure enjoyed reading these, but geez, it sounded to me like you were talking about Shankley like the rest of us...like one of the kids. (and we need our heads examined?) hmmnnn...

I take no offense to any of your comments, however, since we're all here to give our opinions and speak our minds and share in the love of our boxers. That's what BW is all about and bless Olly for sharing this site with us.

Once again, congratulations on the new baby, and your complete family!! I'm sure it's a decision that you'll never regret.