Opionated Friends....I need some backup!

[Kegman51]

Heres the deal. I have a puppy who will be 4 months on the 4th. A couple weeks ago my bestfriend and his gf were over with their pit. We took them outside and after they did their business we came back in. When I let my pup Rocco in, I opened the door for him and he walked in as I always do.

My friend, who claims to have done extensive research says that this is a nono and that I should always walk in before my dog. He also claims that if I dont do just that, that Rocco will attack people in a couple months. He was willing to put money on it. I argued and argued and it got pretty heated.

Anyway, more recently now they were over again. We got into the same argument. He claims that Rocco is being aggressive, and I argued it. At the same time, his gf was sitting on the floor petting Rocco. Rocco wanted to play and he growled at her. Nothing deep or agressive like, but more playful. My friend jumped all over me for not disciplining Rocco for the growl, and I said to him...."He's just a puppy and he wants to play." He goes on and on about me using that as an excuse.

I'm pretty sure that I know my puppy, and I know the difference between him being playful and something else. He's also teething, and I know when he's playing he can get a little rambunctious and bite hard and I correct him for that, but there is also another bite he does, which I can tell is more a comfort bite. When he does that I give him something to chew on. But my friend seems to think any bite is a bad bite and needs to be disciplined or Rocco will be attacking people.

Heres another argument we have. Rocco likes to lay on the couch with me and I told my friend that sometimes when Im sitting up on the couch, Rocco will squeeze behind me. I think this is just him wanting to be close and my friend says that he's showing that he's alpha. I think he's all wet on that.

And lastly, Rocco since we brought him home at 8 weeks, would stand between my legs when he was scared, nervous or cold. He does that less now but my friend seems to think, thats not the case and that when he does that he's again showing he's my alpha.

Sorry that was so long but I needed to bring it up to some people who have experience. Is my friend paranoid or what? Is he right? He claims to have done "extensive research" but the only thing I know is that he watches alot of Dog Whisperer. My friend is driving me nuts and these arguments are getting more and more heated. Please help!

[gmacleod]

LOL - I do not envy you having to put up with that. Best advice I can give you is just to ignore it.

Yes, dogs need structure and they need leadership. But leadership is about leading, not finding excuses to interpret every move the dog (in this case, puppy) makes as some sort of Coup d’État for the top spot. Why try to turn everything into that sort of competition? Can't speak for your friend, but there are a lot of people out there who take all the fun out of dog ownership - they misinterpret the concept of "dominance" as a "get him before he gets you" regime and seem to just use that as an excuse for punishing the poor dog. One wonders what their motivation for getting a dog in the first place actually was, because it sure doesn't seem to be about companionship.

Well, notwithstanding all that, here's an extremely good article about teaching bite inhibition. The author has some serious qualifications in dog behaviour, and is someone whose advice is very much worth taking: http://www.jersey.net/~mountaindog/berner1/bitestop.htm
As you'll see quickly, bite inhibition is NOT about dominance, alphas or any of that punitive nonsense. It is a learning process with a definitive aim - the dog's understanding of his power and the incredible fragility of human skin. I'd put my trust in a dog taught properly any day over one just pounded on and prevented from using his jaws at all.

If you haven't come across these before (they've been linked many times from this site), then you may find the following articles very useful. LOL - your friend might also find them useful, even something of an eye opener:
Debunking the Dominance Myth, by Pamela Buitrago
The Macho Myth, by Ian Dunbar
The History and Misconceptions of Dominance Theory, by Melissa Alexander
Social Hierarchies, by Ian Dunbar
Why Can't a Dog Be More Like a Dog?, by Ian Dunbar

[StormKatz]

Personally I think your friends are clueless when it comes to dog behavior (pups or otherwise). Overly interpreting everything as an attempt at dominance can be just as dangerous as failing to properly correct & teach your dog when/where needed.

Maybe they've just read too much into the negative stereotype associated with pit bulls & are now interpreting everything that can be associated with a dominance display as dangerous.

I'd tell them to worry about their own pet & let you raise your baby as you see fit, after that I'd just ignore their comments & refrain from heated arguments... nobody wants to fight with their friends.

Good luck!!

[Indy's mom]

You've already been given great advice above! I can't do anything more than encourage you strongly to read the links and follow that good advice.

Sounds as if you are getting to know your puppy and allowing your puppy to know you. Wow! That means that you are building a relationship, building trust, your little guy will learn what you expect, what you will allow, where his limits are and what great rewards he is going to get for doing what you ask. Sounds to me like you are going to be a great team.

Try not to engage in these arguments with your well intentioned friend. He really does mean well, I'm sure. Maybe buy him a book, you'll find some great ones listed in the book forum here or direct him to some of the links mentioned above. Failing that, simply smile and let him raise his dog as he sees fit. It's great conditioning for having children. Believe me it's ten times worse then. EVERYONE knows how to raise children better than parents!! Just like puppies.

Good luck!!

[Kegman51]

Thank you so much guys. It's funny, they just now left after a fun night and once again we got on the issues that they have. Again, apparently he should not be on the couch or hes showing dominance and I apparently cater to it because I'm OK with him being on the couch.

Any growl is bad as well as any bite. These are really good friends of mine but they are defiantely not listening to my opionion on the subject. Rocco is a great dog, a great little buddy and a total lover. He loves everyone.

Now the new issue is his jumping up on people when they walk in the door. I agreed with my friend that...YES this is an issue I will be working on but hes a pup and doesnt know all of his limitations just yet. He says again....jumping up is a dominance issue. Its like his only reply is dominance, dominance, dominance, aggression, dominance. DAMN!

I also brought up the fact that all dogs are different and they have different characters and he claims that Im giving human characteristics to dogs. I think there are similarities but Im not saying dogs are humans. I'm going to try and ignore him next time but if he brings it up, how can I just not say a word.

[Lola's mum]

Originally Posted by Kegman51

My friend, who claims to have done extensive research says that this is a nono and that I should always walk in before my dog. He also claims that if I dont do just that, that Rocco will attack people in a couple months.

I was reading 'The Culture Clash' in bed this morning and she says in it that walking through a door is not a sign of dominance.
I have always been told that it is fro various people.
It's polite to teach your dog not to rush through the door first and safe too but not a sign of dominance let alone how it's going to make your dog attack people

A family member of mine thinks he knows everything about dogs and I must confess I love putting him straight with info I've read on here, yep it makes me feel slightly smug

[IluvLucy]

It sounds to me like your friend's total knowledge of dogs comes from watching "The Dog Whisperer" . Caesar Milan is always telling people that your dog should never go through the door before you. He is always pointing out dominance issues between owners and their dogs (although there are times I agree that the dogs are running these people's lives). I would tell your friend to shut off the t.v. and pick up a few good books for a change. He might learn a lot!

[catcrazy56]

A lot of good advice has been given to you, I know a friendship of mine was ruined when we both got boxers about the same age I couldn't stand how perfect theres was compared to mine looks, training everything. Its worse then when our kids were growing up but when they decided after all this to become BYB that was it!!!

[lhsdavis]

You said your friend has a pit bull right? Maybe hes being overly sensitive because of the bad rap that they get and wants to make sure that hes always in control of his dog. I think that dogs in general are a direct result of how an owner raises them, and you cant stereotype dogs. So not an excuse for his comments, but maybe a reason he is noticing all the stuff that your dog is doing, and reading more into it. But boxers in general growl when they play, my Noah is a big talker an I warn people before they even meet him that Noah feels that everyone that visits is there to play with him and he will "talk" to you to let you know that. And there is not a time that I can think of that Noah has not known I was the boss... I have more problems with ashley. And most boxers in general love physical contact with their people, from laying on the feet, lap,etc, the closer the better. My dogs crave it, they will even follow me room to room to maintain that contact.

[Kegman51]

Originally Posted by lhsdavis

And most boxers in general love physical contact with their people, from laying on the feet, lap,etc, the closer the better. My dogs crave it, they will even follow me room to room to maintain that contact.

I've definately noticed that. I love it too, even though sometimes Rocco getting underfoot can be annoying at times. I know all he wants to do is pal around with me.