Agility Humour

[Kysha]

For all you Agility nuts, I thought that you might like this:

ARTICUNAVIGATING (ar-'tic-u-nav-i-gat-ing)
vb. to bark commands at one's invisible dog while walking the course.

CONTACTECULE (kon-'tak-ti-kyool)
n. the smallest particle of a toenail a judge can see to determine if your dog made the contact.

CRATIFY ('kray-ti-fi)
vb. to convert a van or station wagon for canine transportation.

DISCOURSIFICATION (dis-'cours-i-fi-'k-shun)
vb. the act of throwing both hands in the air to disqualify oneself after a brain malfunction causes one to send one's dog off course.

ESTIWALKING ('es-te-'waw-kin)
n. trying to figure out a course's obstacle order before the numbers are placed.

FRAMEGAZING ('fraym-gay-zin)
n. when your dog stops at the top of the A-frame and looks around at the spectators.

HESITIP ('hez-e-tip)
vb. when the dog slows down and leans back on the teeter just before the tip point.

JUDGE FRIGHT ('juj 'freyet)
n. a dog's belief that the judge is an axe-murderer.

MISCOMMANDICATION (mis-ke-mand-i-'kay-shun)
Calling out the wrong name for the next obstacle. (See "TUNNIRE" and "TEETUNNEL")

NOWAITACIDAL TENDENCIES (no-'wait-uh-sy-dal 'ten-den-seez)
n. the overwhelming desire of some dogs to start the course while the handler's back is turned.

NOWAYZONE (no-'way-zon)
n. the area beyond which there is no chance of calling your dog to return to the course once he's left the ring to visit friends.

OTHERLEFTITUS ('uth-er-left-'ti-tus)
n. a condition in which the handler constantly giving the wrong directional command.

POOPYLACTIC (poo-pe-'lak-tik)
n. the plastic bag used to pick up dog doo.

POPUPPUPS ('pop-up-pups)
n. dogs that lift their rears and/or elbows just prior to the 'go' command on the table.

PREMATURE OEXITATION (pre-me-'tur o-eg-se-'tay-shun)
n. the act of leaving the table before the "O" in "GO".

PUPULSION (pu-'pul-shun)
n. the invisible force a handler uses to make the dog perform an obstacle at a distance.

REPOLE (re-'pol)
vb. to correct a weave pole performance without having to start completely over.

RETUN ('re-tun)
vb. to perform back-to-back tunnels.

SUBCINCO (sub-sin-ko)
adj. describing a run with less than 5 faults.

TUNNIRE (tun-'ire)
n. an object which is either the tunnel or the tire, but the handler can't remember which. (see "MISCOMMANDICATION")

TEETUNNEL ('tee-tun-ul)
n. an object which is either the teeter or the tunnel, but the handler can't remember which. (see "MISCOMMANDICATION")

UNTUN (un-'tun)
vb. when a dog reverses and comes out the same side of a tunnel he entered.

WHERETOWHIRL ('hwer-tu-hwerl)
n. the spinning motion a dog makes after completing an obstacle not knowing where to go next

[Muttluvr]

Hehehe.

I like the POPUPPUPS!

I'm sitting at work saying it over and over