So sorry you are feeling so sad. I wish I could help you with a concrete answer. I am still a terrible mess since losing my girl in Feb. of 2010. We are rapidly approaching 2 years and my sadness is still just as intense today as it was on the day we lost her.
I am better able to function but I still miss her every second of every day and she is never out of my mind. I actually had a breakdown today talking about her to my DH. I don't think we ever get over losing them but somehow we manage to figure out a way to live without them.
You just have to keep remembering that he would not want you to remain in such a bad place. He is happy and free now and although it is hard for us to be without them what is most important is that we had them in our lives.
I wish you peace.
Susi & Raine
Forever missing.....my angel Cami
3/25/03 - 2/17/10